that's what he said

(while waiting to go to preschool)
"Hey, Ellese, my dad toots."

*****

B: "You have big burps."
A: "I don't burp. I'm a lady.
(confused look from B)
Okay, yes. I burp."
B: (decisively) "No, you don't. You're a lady. But I burp big, 'cause I'm a MAN."

*****

"I used it all over my teeth. (pushing a finger around in his mouth to demonstrate) See? Sparkling clean!"

*****

B: (when cleaning up) "Can I leave one toy out?"
A: "Yes."
B: "Ok, I going to leave this toy out (showing me) 'cause it's the best present EVER."

I will not mention what the toy was, nor the giver, so that all of you who have ever given him anything might think that YOURS was the best present ever. You are welcome.