Thursday, April 30, 2009



One of our editors, Ken Knight, has been missing since Sunday on his hike of the Appalachian Trail. He is visually impaired and was planning to go off-trail when he was last seen. Though resourceful and an experienced hiker, he missed his flight back home. Please see the link above for more information and pray for Ken and his family.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

one more thing

JR is brilliant with a turn of phrase, but don't EVER let him take your picture.

Monday, April 27, 2009

weather channel and all my words

The Weather Channel/NBC did an AWESOME job on the story. I was nervous, so I started to make dinner just before the show started, which was artful and wise. I was distracted during the commercial breaks and managed to be sure I was in the kitchen when they talked about big Blake's death.

I can talk about that myself (very abstractly), but hearing the actual trauma inflicted upon one whom I love from another person is unbelievably painful. As in, 'Who the hell are you to speak of it so off-hand?!' Then I cry.

Last night, I got weepy in parts, but no wrenching sobs like on Saturday, when I watched a few clips online. The merely weepy was good - little Blake was watching with us, and I didn't want to freak him out. He was thrilled to see people he knew on the TV, saying "I saw Sam on TV!" and "I saw Uncle Matt on TV!" and "Mom, was that my dad that died?" Rob and I handled it honestly and quietly, not getting too involved in our answers, but I think it helped B to see the examples of an avalanche. He asked where his Dad went at one point, to which I replied that this was when Daddy Blake died. He seemed unfazed and continued to watch raptly, which was a little strange for me, but I have to remember that B doesn't know the man I knew. Still, B found it especially exciting to see me and HIM on the TV, and at every commercial, he anxiously asked if the show was coming back on.

Side note: the commercials were timed very well and/or horribly, at the peak of the dramatic events. ARGH! But seriously, it helped to be in the kitchen. I recommend it for suspenseful shows.

At the end, I was pleased with the thoughtful and respectful way in which they told our story. It's hard to believe they trimmed it to less than thirty minutes (my interview alone was at least an hour), but they made us all look like bad-ass rock stars. The music behind their ski footage and reenactments was gritty rock (not sappy strings or piano), they didn't even hint at judgment about how the day unfolded, and both Sam and Matt (both shown often) came across as brave, sympathetic, and amazing men. I have tears in my eyes even now: I am so damned proud of every man up there that weekend.

Except the one who didn't come back. Of him, I am damned proud and also want to kick his ass a little.

In wholly unrelated news, my mother asked if the silence on my blog was due to anything other than adjusting to marriage. Nope. I'm adjusting, and I'm using up all my words on Rob, so the internet gets short shrift.

Poor Rob.

The hardest part for me so far is letting go of some of my control issues (cue Addie's hysterical laughter). This is one of the things I was very clear-eyed about before marriage: a husband might solve some problems (the garbage keeps magically disappearing!), but will create or show me others (is there really a "wrong way" to sweep the floor?). Thankfully, Rob handles my crazy well, so when I just pour out a torrent of words analyzing both of us, the marriage, the way things are around the house, etc., he listens and nods. And he hugs me and saves his reply for later. WHAT A GOOD MAN! Also, I do him a big favor by tending to argue my side of a point, then his side. Really, he's barely got anything to do except listen and nod.

I really need to make him work harder... except... OH! Right. He has to live with me. But don't you worry, internet. I am making it well worth his while.

Wait... I was talking about cooking for him. What did YOU think I meant?

Sunday, April 26, 2009

time confirmed

Yep, looks like it's at 6:00 pm tonight. Will call family to tell them, and if you miss it, I know they do reruns. Also, I will try to get a DVD. And if you're reading this, please pray that this would be a healing and comforting thing, rather than being a painful scar being cut into again. I wasn't able to watch all the clips on before turning them off and crying.

So, I'll have a cup of tea now, and beer and chips in about an hour.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

weather channel

Just got this email from the two folks I've been working with at the Weather Channel/NBC Studios:
After many months of hard work, "Storm Stories: Montana Avalanche" is FINALLY airing this weekend. Tune in to The Weather Channel this Sunday, April 26th at 8pm/EDT.
Without you, this episode would not have been possible, so THANK YOU.
I hope you are all doing well.
I'll find out what that means (as far as times go) for us MT folk, and I've requested a DVD for myself and big Blake's family, so hopefully we'll get the goods no matter what. I'm curious to see what they've done with it and how on earth they kept it to a half-hour. Also, I'm a little nervous.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

for grammie perrine (and others)

I can't believe I haven't posted for over a week and all you were left with was a story about poop. Actually, I can believe that. Sounds just like me, in fact.

Rob, I, and Blake all got married. It's more than just me and Rob, though we were the only ones up there taking vows. It was a lovely celebration, not entirely off-the-cuff, but wholly delightfully fun. And I keep hearing the same from others, even the ones who signed up to help set up and tear down, which to me equals resounding success.

I'm not sure where to start. If you see below, I have old posts percolating that I'd like to discuss, but I don't think that will be enough for the friends who were unable to be here for all the party (don't worry, you didn't miss anything - does that make you feel any better?). So I'll start with Friday night, the 10th.

Rob, me, and a gaggle of friends and family went to the Beer Fest, which was just as much fun as I'd hoped, even though I was second-guessing the money spent to even attend, since beer just makes me sleepy and I was already at that point. Turns out the tasting glasses they give you are perfectly small, so you don't get TOO much, and the friends we met there invigorated me. Also, I can hold an astonishing (to me) amount of beer before feeling the effects. Maybe that's just because I wasn't counting, or because most everyone else around us was "effected," but I was half proud and half horrified that by the time I started drinking water, it wasn't because I was tipsy, but because I was thirsty for something else and because I wanted to be sure I could drive. The best beers were the Belgian white or wheats and the espresso porters or stouts. YUM. The worst beer was a saison from Yellowstone Brewing Company (same place we got our wedding kegs). It tasted just like CORNED BEEF. I made Kellie and Rob sample it to confirm, then threw it out. Also, I put our names in for a drawing where the grand prize was a trip to Florida, and they called today. We won. I am skeptical, but won't find out more until Monday because they called at a bad time, and I asked if I could call back. Did anyone else "win" that prize?

Saturday morning dawned to the sound of raucous conversation and laughter, so I figured Rob and his friend Lonnie were up and more friends had come over for coffee and breakfast. I got out into the living room (we were at S and A's house, since they traded me my condo for the weekend so everyone could stay together) and found just the Myers and Bedford parents. So they get along okay.

Rob's and my sisters all went to get our hair done, and I was snapped in a variety of unflattering poses:
Though we didn't have bridesmaids, I wanted the girls to feel special and pretty. Notice no pics of them in disarray? The Bedford girls and I wandered downtown a bit in search of a corkscrew, and finally ended up at the Emerson to get ready and take pictures. I was shooed out of the ballroom, assured that I was useless there until I had a white dress on. My folks arrived and Mom helped squeeze me into said dress.

Side note: Moms are awesome. They don't get enough credit for damn near anything, but they do damn near everything. I am not necessarily including myself in this, just giving a shout out to my rockin' hottie Momica. She's really amazing, and I don't tell her enough. So now I tell her AND the internet. Also, Mom, you're looking really skinny these days.

We did the picture scene for a bit, getting as many of cooperative folks as we could. There was not only my friend and boss, RJ, but Rob's friend, J, my brother-in-law, D, and one of Rob's cousins taking pictures with VERY nice cameras. Add to that all the friends and family with point-and-shoots, and we'll probably have about 2000 pictures of the day. To all of you out there: I WANT COPIES OF EVERY SINGLE ONE. But a CD with everything on it would be fine too. Where would I put 2000 pictures?!

After all the posed shots were done, folks broke for a meal. I'm not sure where everyone else went, but RJ, SJ, Blake, and I went to Taco Bell. Walking in with my full wedding regalia felt funny, but my empty tummy felt funnier. And the part that I was most self-conscious about wasn't so much the lovely white dress but my false eyelashes (a must-have for nice pics - they really make your eyes pop).

We got back and mingled, which was REALLY fun. No one expected to see me, and I was out and about all casual, hugging people, saying hi, locating my purse. Basic stuff. Everyone got settled as Pastor B declared "Rob and Addie can't wait ONE MORE MINUTE to get married, and they want to start on time, so please find a seat." I rounded up my boys, and we got all sorted out in the hallway at the back of the room, at which point Blake declared that he needed to go potty. Rob took him out the side door, some gravel was "watered," and we commenced. With Rob holding Blake in one arm and my hand, the strains of the theme from Star Wars filled the ballroom. Everyone stood and broke into cheers and applause, which promptly made me cry.

We left Blake with one of the many grandparents there, and the wedding began. Pastor B spoke on the covenant of marriage, on Psalm 27, and on the theme of answered prayer and God's perfect timing. Rob's sister Bethany sang Praise My Soul the King of Heaven, which is the same song I sang at church before big B and I moved to Los Alamos, and the same song that Lane, Reese, and I all sang at my cousin Hannah's wedding. As we said our vows, I began to cry, shaking at the suppressed tears (apparently some weren't sure if I was crying or laughing) and all the meaning and hopes and fears and dreams and prayers that were being answered or laid to rest as my beloved Rob swore himself to me and all my bumps and bruises. I made it through my vows as well, though I'm sure the video will show funny contortions of my face and mouth, trying to speak around all the emotion.

At one point, Rob asked if he could kiss me, and the answer was "not yet." Pastor B then languidly drew out the pronouncement of our union to laughs, finally declaring that Rob could kiss his bride (that's me!). I've seen one small video of this moment, and we look like a couple of celebrities with all the flashes going off. It's sweet (I'm biased) and a little embarrassing (why do you all love us so much?!). As we went down the steps, Blake ran up to hug me and walk with us. He ran into my ear and earring as I bent towards him, doubling up the impact. Both the pain and the embarrassment had him in tears and my full attention, especially when we got to the back of the room and he pulled his hand away from his bleeding nose. We dashed to the bathroom with the help of a friend, and Blake's tears disappeared as soon as he walked in and saw his face.

"Ooh, blood!" he exclaimed. The lower half of his face was smeared red, and the nose was still going. He was fine, none got on the dress, and I'm sure his wedding clothes will be fine, once I can find them to work on the stains. I was horrified that I gave my son a bloody nose at our wedding, but it makes a good story, and he was a trouper.

The rest was largely a blur. Rob and I got some alone time, I changed into a black cocktail dress, we cut cake, met people, delayed the first dance far too long (sorry folks), barely ate anything, barely drank any of the good beer or wine, were toasted by good friends, blessed by many, were entertained by all the kiddos. Molly made me cry (again) by referencing the toast Reese gave at my first wedding: Taste and see that the Lord is good. Psalm 34 also includes the verse that my aunt Gail gave me after big B died: The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Molly tied it all together in the special and wise way that Molly has, praising God for saving my crushed spirit. And while she may not realize it, I used Psalm 34 in my toast at HER wedding (verses 1-3). It's just a good one, and I'm struck by God once again making a mockery of coincidences.

We had our last dance to Bad Company's Feel Like Makin' Love, and while friends and family sang along (I saw you, Catherine!) and blew bubbles at us, we suddenly cut and ran after the first chorus ("Feel like makin' love to you...") to surprise and laughter. From what I hear, there was an awkward pause when folks realized we weren't coming back. We hugged Blake goodbye on the way out and drove off into the rain.

The wedding was ALL I'd hoped it could be, and while I wish I'd given us more time by starting earlier, I also know that there's no way we could have spent the time we wanted with the friends and family who had come so far to see us. That part drives me nuts even now, but we are already planning trips to see those I barely met, or we barely spent time with. I had a large contingent of already-in-laws there, and while I know it was a difficult event for them, I was enormously blessed by their presence and can't wait to take Rob and Blake around to visit all of them too. The rest of the week was spent at some friends' cabin, and I'll post about that later. We couldn't have done ANY of the wedding the way we did without a ridiculous amount of help from our families and friends... and really, our friends carried the day. They set up. They tore down. They brought ALL the food. They cut cake. They picked up and dropped off kegs, coffee, tablecloths, wine, flowers. They loaned us their home(s). They loaned me my dress. They got me the wine at cost. They made the centerpieces. They handed out leftover cake at the end of the night. They or their kids entertained Blake. They kept me sane.

Thank you. We have been truly and well overwhelmed by the love that's been poured out on us. We are still trying to find places for the evidence of all that love. And I still have so much more to say, but now, off to put away more love.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

excerpt from an email

Sent 4/5 to Mom and Molly:
Blake wasn't necessarily being naughty when he messed his pants earlier. Based on the state of our bathroom, I can authoritatively declare that the sounds of distress were due to the fact that every toot was in fact very bad diarrhea. And because he thought they were toots, he was not on the toilet at the time, though his pants were down, leading to FURTHER distress, leading to some sad little attempts to clean up before I came in and brought the thunder. Poor guy. He was scared until I walked in the door, took his face gently in my hands, explained that his bottom was sick, and he was not in trouble. And now I have to disinfect damn near everything two feet and lower. And do lots of laundry in VERY hot water.

I love you two. You both were talking to me either about this or while this was happening, so I had to share. Also, I will be blogging about it. Eventually. Because if I can't provide birth control to my readers, who will?!

This has happened three times now (the part about having major sharts with the pants down). The good news is that it's always on a hard surface or a throw rug that I can toss in the laundry. The bad news is that I think it's nerves about the wedding - he didn't do it at preschool yesterday. My child is possibly more worked up about this event than I am, poor thing.

However, the second these same nerves hit Rob, I am officially running away...

to buy matches and more Lysol.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

that's what she said

A: You take port? I have to have the grape juice - port's like drinking the worst syrup EVER.
T: Yes, well, I figure that Christ did something awfully unpleasant for me, so the least I can do is suffer through the port.
A: (choking back laughter) Wow. Way to make me feel guilty about my selfishness during communion.
T: You're welcome.

B: I hope this isn't a brainy game. But I really am smart.

B: Do you mind if I eat your poop?

A: You SLUT!

She walked out the front door to see her purebred dog mating with the mutt from next door, ruining their efforts to keep her "pure" until they got her to a stud. The resulting mixed breed puppies were cute, but not what they were hoping for.

that's what he said

B: Mom, I took the penny out of me.
A: The penny? Do you mean the quarter?
B: Yeah, the quarter out of me. So I won't do naughty fings.

When B's being squirrely, I often ask him who put the quarter in him and if I can get a refund because I want my money back. It's not so much that he's naughty as it is that's he's a boy with boundless energy that seems to regularly steamroll me up one side and down the other.

B: (to half the people in Billings) Are you coming to my wedding?

B: Mom, Grammie is going to sit in the crowd at the wedding.
A: Yes, that's the plan... maybe let's not call it a 'crowd,' okay?
B: But I don't want to sit in the crowd. I want to stand up with you and Dad.
A: We'll see how you do. You don't have a speaking part for a reason, you know. You'd steal the show.

B: Mom, can I have dinosaur hair that's spiky?
A: You mean like a mohawk?
B: I mean like dinosaur hair. A stegosaurus. (I can't even begin to phonetically spell what he said)

So we cut his hair into a mohawk.

R: Wow, that's really cool! Can I -
A: NO. You can have a mohawk AFTER the wedding. I'm cool, but I'm not THAT cool.

B: Dad, that spanking didn't even really hurt, but it's okay because I have a very strong bottom.

B: Mom, does our wedding cake have alcohol in it?
A: No, it doesn't.
B: Then can I have some?
A: Yes, of course!
B: Oh, that's great!

Molly and JR had a groom cake in the shape of a brilliant blue Audi. It was coveted by every small boy (and probably grown man) at the wedding. It had also been soaked in Tuaca. Blake was very sad that he didn't get any cake with alcohol in it.

B: Mom, why do you want to get married?
A: Well, (long explanation about how marriage was one of the best things I ever did and how I am eager to have that kind of relationship again, about honoring God, about honoring Rob, about having a family that's more than just the two of us, about having a husband for me and a father for Blake).
B: You can get married to Dad.

It's okay with me!

If that's what you want, it's fine with me.
A: I'm very glad you approve.
B: Well, if you don't want to get married, Dad should go back to Spokane. But you can be married forever.

You should do it!

Good choice, huh?
A: (laughing) I sure hope so!

Monday, April 6, 2009

fair warning

I have given myself one more day of frenzied preparation before calling it quits. One more day of phone calls, errands, rushrushrushrushrush, then I get to sit back and enjoy the ride, knowing that no matter what, Rob and I will be married by this time Saturday evening. And we have a place to go that night. And no, I'm not telling you where! Yeehaw!

I have friends and family coming from near and far (so far that I'm humbled and honored and delighted they even THOUGHT of coming, much less acted on that thought) in the next few days. And here is the thing: I love pleasing people. I love making people feel regarded and cherished. I will not be able to do that to my liking this week for more than a very special few. It drives me nuts, but it's reality.

If you are coming with expectations of me or my time, I'm deeply sorry. My reality is that I'm going to be too busy to coordinate overlap with almost anyone other than the family I'm marrying into. Of the expectations (yours?) and reality (mine), only one can really change. I'm trying to make peace with my limitations, and expressing them is one of the ways I can do that.

I will not be able to spread myself so thin that I do not enjoy our wedding and the party fun-time that goes around it. Because I am protecting my heart and time in this way, I think Rob will really benefit from enjoying his bride. The rest of you should probably get tickets to the Brew Fest. We might run into you there!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

montana beer festival

There's a beer festival in town this coming week. In a perfect coincidence (at least, that's how WE see it), it falls on the night of the "rehearsal" dinner, which is so called because we're not really having a rehearsal, but it's the term everyone knows.

Rob and I would like to go with whomever from our families thinks that sounds fun, and we're trying to gauge outside interest before we buy tickets (unfortunately, it's $30 for tickets, $35 at the door, but you get unlimited pours from an insane number of great breweries). Interested? Let us know, and we'll pick up tickets for as many as want to come with us and cough up the dough. We wouldn't be going until 8:00 pm or later (due to previously mentioned "rehearsal" dinner), but it lasts until midnight. And there's free Streamline bus routes every hour to designate your driving all 'round Bozeman.

In wholly unrelated news, my cousin Joy is in labor. We're praying for a smooth, safe home birth, and that she'd be as comfortable as possible doing something that's not comfortable at all.