Monday, November 23, 2009

silence is golden, but also kind of boring

We are deep in the "paying dues" phase of life right now. We don't get to live like our parents - not terribly surprising, but terribly disappointing - and it's given Rob and I some good conversations in the last few days. We've covered how long it might take for the Spokane house to sell and what we should do if it's another month or more on the market. We've covered if and when we might move to Canada, since that might be the only way we're able to ensure I meet that side of his family, as well as what he'd do for a living up there. We've covered what marriage has cost Rob, our expectations for our future together, and how to manage his work schedule in a way that doesn't drive us both crazy.

For the house, my suggestion was to add a stripper pole and a beer cooler to appeal to those college guys looking for a place to invest in. Rob wisely pointed out that it was their parents we were trying to attract, since they are the ones who actually have money.

Ah. Guess the fancy dancing apparatus and keg-chilling device are off limits. FOR NOW.

We don't really have any wisdom about that house at the moment. If you're so inclined, we covet your prayers that it would sell soon and for our asking price. Paying two mortgages is very very uncomfortable, and we really do not want to rent it, simply because that pushes back a few other things we'd like to do sooner than later (buy a larger place in Bozeman and begin expanding our family).


There has been an inordinate amount of interest in the status of my uterus these days, and I'm perfectly content to tell you it's empty but for the Mirena that is very effective and dear to my heart. Yes, holding babies (especially girls) kind of makes my ovaries throb. Yes, I love babies (especially YOURS) and would enjoy more children. It ain't happening yet. But you know what's fun? Asking me about it and seeing what happens. That is evidently the new Bozeman (especially Bunko girl) hobby! SO FUN!

For the other stuff, well, I actually wrote and deleted a large chunk of words that, when reread, were just dull. We're hanging out a lot. Blake doesn't really know what to think of it when it's not a Dave Ramsey ("I LOVE DAVE RAMSEY!" -Blake) night or a growth group ("I LOVE THE MCKELLYS!" -Blake) night, but I'm having fun. I beat Rob at Scrabble a few days ago, Blake's been building castles and chariots out of Lincoln Logs and Legos, and I'm reading through the Harry Potter series. We are settling in and getting used to this new normal, this different phase.

And when I start to feel badly about all that I've cost Rob, he counters with this (paraphrased, because if I start walking around with a tape recorder, no one will want to hang out with me):
"Yes, when it comes to short-term freedoms to do what I want, take trips, buy what I want, and live just for me, getting married has cost me. But in the long-term, this is an investment for me. I'm investing in what I've wanted: a family. A future. It has been worth the cost. I love you both."
"Well, that is very good to hear."
"Are you crying again?"
"YEAH! SO?!"


Gailzee said...

That last comment from Rob teared me up!

Grammie Perrine said...

I am crying too. So touched by Rob's words and your wonderful marriage. Thank you for sharing. It fills my heart.

Lonnie Smith said...

hmmm my guess is your paraphrase might have been much more eloquent than Rob's "Ugh, me like you!" That's just a guess though.