B: That's a mad house... I would not wanna be there.
A: I'm trying to help you.
R: I need you to be gentle. That way I can help you too!
A: WHAT AM I, A WIZARD? Gentle is not who you married!
R: "I'm not a witch, I'm your wife!"
(high fives all around)
A: Blake, why don't you tell Grammie about the things on your tongue that help you taste your food?
B: What things?
A: You know, those little bumps?
B: (turning triumphantly to Grammie Mony) Taste bugs!
B: 'Scuse me, tooted. That was an air toot. It sounded fluffy.
A: My weather app said the low today was -1 even as it showed a current temp of -14. LIAR! In related news, I have decided to learn how to hibernate: gorge, go to sleep fat and warm in winter, wake up skinny in spring.
RO: Most hibernating females give birth during that time, correct?
A: I've made a huge mistake...
(in comments on a video I posted for work over a year ago - the pic he refers to is my profile pic, posted at the end of every article I publish for BPL)
Anonymous: I thought she was going to be goodlookin from her pic but not so much...
A: Yeah, but false lashes and styled hair to float down a river is just silly! Good thing my husband likes me fresh-faced and freckled. He's a keeper.
R: (privately, to me) You start out hot and just keep getting better if you want to. That poor asswipe needs his butt kicked... but we should feel sorry for him. No matter how hard he tries, he'll always be stupid.
A: Uh-oh. Looks like we'll have more cupcakes than we'll know what to do with for Blake's birthday.
R: I'm sure we'll figure something out.
A: Because I love Rob so very much and he loves SCUBA so very much, I tried it. SCUBA and I do not agree, so I'll be happily snorkeling above him while in Hawaii.
J: Last time we were in HI, we tried "Snuba" and it was awesome! The O2 tank floats on a little raft on the surface and you get to "snorkel" about 15-20 feet down.
A: I have done snuba and liked it, so we have a lot of possibilities. Also, I hurt like crazy this morning, which is another strike against SCUBA. Or maybe just swimming. Or probably just getting out of bed.
A: You know what cleans laminate floors REALLY well? Pledge.
You know what makes Pledge-cleaned floors downright deadly and/or hella fun? Wool socks.
L: You would put clean before safety.
A: I would just like to say that ROB did this, and I discovered it when getting home. "A: 'Wow, the house smells really good!' R: 'We mopped!' A: 'Haha! Not with Pledge, right? ... Right?'"
But now I must confess that nothing else I use has worked as well... or been as exciting.
(while watching Planet Earth, and if you see a theme here... YES. We love us some Discovery Channel. The world is just
Narrator: There once were 30,000 blue whales-
R: (melodramatically) But now there are only three... and two of them don't even like each other.
(after a conflict earlier this week, Rob started to do something I do not like, then abruptly changed to something I welcome from him)
R: Oh, no.
A: What? (kissing him repeatedly)
R: Now you know I listen to you.
A: Yes, but don't worry. I know it only happens with a major increase in volume.