grateful for... marilla

November 9

Today I am grateful for the ultrasound that confirmed our little tiny baby is still going strong, making us 9 weeks and 4 days along, with a due date in early June. Remember back when I posted about not being pregnant and being okay with that because of the time it gave me? Yeah, that was written just after a pregnancy test that turned out to be a false negative. Ten days later, it was very, very positive, and I entered the wonderfully nervous world of "Please let this one take!"

I started calling her "Marilla," much to Rob's chagrin, speaking in faith and prophecy that the little girl Lane is having will usher in a wave of baby girls for me and my sisters. Because it's about time we had a break from all those penises (husbands, I don't mean you...).

We've now had two ultrasounds - one at a crisis pregnancy center after I assured them it was no crisis - and one today, after the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat externally (he wasn't worried at all - it was quite early - but it made me anxious) and wasn't confident that my dating for the gestational age was accurate (because of the weird things my body did in the three cycles after the miscarriage, not because I'm an idiot).

Rob promptly texted his family, declaring "We have a live one! 150 beats per second!" which would mean we are having not a baby, but a hummingbird on cocaine. I will love her and squeeze her and pet her and call her Marilla... at least until she actually gets here.