that's what she said

K: (fingering a bra at Victoria's Secret) "Look at all this padding! Wouldn't that just make you feel like, I don't know, false advertising?"
A: (checking out same bra) "HA! That's NOTHING! Let me show you what I wear every day. It makes my shirts fit better, and that way, my tummy or my nose aren't the first thing to enter a room."
K: "But..."
A: "'But' nothing. If anyone gets lucky enough to see the girls and mentions false advertising, you just PUT THEM AWAY. That'll show him."
*****
Upon being greeted (while in the shower, no less) by a boy with a diaper in hand, wearing nothing on the bottom, saying "Momma, I pooped."
A: "WHERE IS THE POOP NOW?!"

I have never finished a shower so quickly. This was easily a year ago, and Blake was no where near potty-training (because he's SO MUCH CLOSER now) and in diapers. I'd been coming into rooms and seeing that he'd pulled everything down to his feet, then smelling what he'd done, which was why he dropped trou. The messes weren't awful, but they weren't fun, either. Since then, I've had to ask the above question far more often than I would ever have guessed, but that first time, the answer was downright easy: all in the diaper. No where else.