(thrown in at random when on the phone with two separate grandparents this week) "chatter... chatter... chatter... My mom's going to the bathroom. chatter... chatter... chatter..."
Now can I open my Christmas present since I cleaned up/ate dinner/came inside?
I really hurt myself with the crepe spreader.
A: "How was your day at preschool?"
B: "The fire alarm went off and freaked me out."
A: "Oh? Did you have a fire drill?"
B: "Yeah. It freaked me out and we went outside and plugged our ears and sang a song because it freaked me out."
A: "Did you learn a new phrase today?"
B: "When something freaks you out and you have to go outside because it freaks you out and a fire drill would freak you out because it would be loud and it freaked me out."
He then got on the phone with my mother and proceeded to use "freaked me out" or variants about twenty more times.
"I'm going to kiss you like Spiderman." (he proceeds to attempt an open-mouth kiss on me, then demonstrates how Spiderman kisses Mary Jane, wherein I realize that all movies must be G-RATED from here on out, then insist that only mommies and daddies kiss like that... okay, only grownups... okay, you're not dating until you're thirty-five!)