Friday, January 16, 2009

it's all fun and games until i kill someone

I went dress shopping today with my mother, Blake, and my sister Reese. Well, Reese got to drop in late and leave early. Note that I refer to that as though it were her privilege. I, on the other hand, had to stay the whole time.

What was fun up to this point got unfun today, mostly because I'm the anti-bride (thanks for the new word Molly!) and refuse to get sucked into the wedding establishment that dictates all kinds of crazy things. For example:
  • Reception sites should cost over $2000 not including food or drinks.
  • Wedding dresses are made to order, and out of fabrics such as duchess satin, organza, silks of various finish, etc.etc.etc. Such dresses take weeks or months to receive, so you'd better not plan on a short engagement or you'll have to (gasp) buy off the rack. Then people will feel sorry for you.
  • Wedding dresses not only take months to actually have in hand, they must cost LOTS of money, or they will not make you look pretty enough.
  • There are rules to invitation wording or decorating or feeding people, or they won't really be celebrating with you as much as they will be criticizing you.
  • All the seating at the wedding should match OR there should be enough seats for all your guests or they won't be comfortable.
  • Weddings must involve sermons. Long, long sermons.
  • There are rules to weddings.
Well, I am just going to say this:

Rules, schmules. (I wanted to drop the f-bomb regarding rules, but my mother reads this. So does my grammie. And I love them enough not to do that to them... at least, not today.)

I think I'm borrowing a dress, and while I didn't want an overtly "wedding-y" dress... well... this one's free. Rob and I want simple, and I think that inexpensive can be simple, even if inexpensive has a few sequins.

After the stress of dress shopping, where shop girls hesitantly asked me if I were going to wear white at what would be my second wedding ("Maybe. Why do you ask?" while ruffling my son's hair), I went out with two dear friends to the local brewery to taste a few options for what we might serve at the reception. We laughed, we sampled, we talked about other things... I don't want "wedding" to be all that comes out of my mouth, because while it's fun, I am slightly more nuanced and complicated than that.

Aren't I?
It was loud at the brewery tonight, and some things got lost in translation...

A: "There are a few topics I think we could avoid in any wedding sermon, if we HAVE to have one. For example, the phrase 'two ticks and no dog' should not be mentioned."
A: (fingerspelling the word 'ticks' and laughing)
T: (laughing) "Oh..." (panicked look coming over her face) "Oh my gosh - don't put that on your blog!"
A: (gasping with excitement) "What a great idea! I TOTALLY AM!"


Joy Joy said...

Amen, sister! Rules Schmules! Weddings are about getting people together to celebrate love, and I've just never felt the need to have matching chairs in order to have a fantastic time!

Carrie Peeples said...

You can borrow my dress. It's rather fluffy though, but laces up the back so no need for alterations and you can tie it as tight/loose as you want.
We hardly did ANYTHING along the lines of the rules, e.g. mixed girls/guys standing on each side, had Rob Bells Flame/sex video shown, Chariots of Fire when the moms were seated, no receiving line, no sermon, no bouquet/garter toss, etc. It was fantastic!! I'm all for not playing by the rules!

Anonymous said...

I'll say it, "...and reformed weddings are a real bitch!" I had to leave planning session before I strangled certain people.

I hate weddings and most things associated with them. But I'll go to yours :)

aubyn said...

We just had a bad experience at Davids Bridal, where we were literally treated like cattle. (however pretty)

As far as seating goes, I think everyone loves a good cake walk. Sit on the right chair, win a cake, and your wedding just became the best ever!

Andrea said...

Invitation solution: evite.
Love you antibride.

Anonymous said...

No garter or bouquet tossing for me. I don't like ruffles or hearts - my mom-in-law didn't know what to do with me. Only spent $66 on flowers. My aunt made my cake. I had my very simple dress made for $400. No veil. Wore shoes I already owned. I thought way too hard about table decorations. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't done them at all. Had a couple people make salads. Bought meat & cheese trays and rolls. Guests moved the tables for dancing. I'm going on and on. I'm sure you get the drift. Oh yeah, and the ceremony was only 20 minutes long. Sweet! Call me if you want me to slash apart any traditions you may be clinging to.

T said...

i repeat i didn't scream d*cks really that loudly. thankfully the music kept playing ;)

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU! This has encompassed everything I have been irritated with as well. We have decided that the non-traditional stuff more acurately represents "us" anyway, so more power to you and to bucking crazy expensive traditions!