Sunday, January 11, 2009

running in circles... with scissors... on a skating rink

I am on the edge, I tell you what. Rob, Blake, and I got back to Bozeman Wednesday night, and I've been going ever since, but I can't really tell that I've made progress anywhere.

Except that I did feed us the whole time he was here. I guess there is that. He left today and it is anyone's guess what we're having for dinner. My vote? Cereal.

I'm feeling the weight of keeping people informed, and the panic of inadvertently NOT informing such key people as friends who changed my diapers, friends who keep me sane, and my entire set of immediate in-laws. Each of these groups have been left out of one email/phone call or another, and I'm not sure why. Because I am a bad person? That's the only explanation that comes to mind right now... except that I'm also just a total space cadet. That doesn't help.

Also, despite my intent to remain calm and collected while running my life as normal, I've been up until 1:00 am every night trying to regain my footing around the house, or with my thank-you notes, or with my email, or with my wedding stuff. And I don't sleep well, long enough, or deeply enough. I am understandably really fun to be around right now. We should go to the park!

So here's the thing: Rob and I are getting married on April 11th in Bozeman. It will be an evening wedding, simple and not at all small. I hope to look fabulous, and I think Rob wants to be dashing. Or maybe I am projecting... but I don't think he'd argue. And while I am slightly panicked at the sheer numbers of folks we're inviting (except... oh, wait... I'M inviting the hordes), when I take a deep breath and look at my life, I am so enormously blessed that there might be several hundred people interested in witnessing the answer to all our prayers for the last four years.

I might get a little whiney on this blog and in your hearing, but I hope it's always wry and with a real sense of humor. Because "Waah waah waah - all my needs are met. A lot of people love me and want to celebrate with us. BOO HOO!"

Because gosh, there are a lot of you. And I should know - I made the guest list. It's frickin' huge.

I guess I would rather cast the net wide and give guests the option of saying no than cast too small and say no for you. I'm not oblivious to the fact that due to the traumatic events in my life, you've circled round me, held me up (sometimes physically, but most often in prayer), and taken a deeper care and interest in the future for me and my boy. As much as big Blake's death shook my faith, I know it shook the faith of many of you. And so I owe it to you. I owe it to the Lord. I owe it to little Blake and to Rob.

Look at what God has brought about! Rejoice with me, for He will restore the years the locusts have eaten.


Janelle Wilson said...

EVERYONE becomes a nitwit when they are planning a wedding - it is especially understandable with all you have going on. I play the "blonde card" when necessary. I highly recommend it (should the wedding-planner card not work). Don't worry - we know!! Now take a deep breath, pour yourself a glass of wine, and listen to some good music. You've earned it.

Dave said...

Dinner: cereal is a good option
I don't cook when Dave is out of town(just ask Kayla) she lives off of lean cuisines.
Wedding plans: Don't happy!!! The invitaiton will be a great way to let those people know that you are getting married, you don't have to notify everyone personnally. We are very happy for you.

Ashley said...

Addie, I hope you can enjoy at least a little rest and relaxation as you prepare for such an exciting day:) I can only imagine how monumental it will be for you and your family. Thinking of you...

T said...

i vote for sticking your friends with lots-o-planning. especially since some of us shed more tears lately than you do and need lots of distractions.

i'm game for being "STUCK". name the night this week and i'm there to plan and of course wrestle with blake. maybe afterwards we could have a glass of wine and leg wrestle too?

Sharon said...

Well, Addie, I'm the third to offer to have a glass of wine with you -- and I'd love to join you at the park...with the wine ;)

Please delegate and trust that those who offer will produce a most wonderful event... Blessings on your week,

Joy Joy said...

Delegate delegate delegate (and don't worry about it if it's not just how you would have done it--nobody notices the centerpieces or remembers to look at the cake before eating it). I also would love to help you out however possible!!

aubyn said...

You are farther ahead than you think on this wedding thing, I am perfectly able to use this blog post as an officail invitation to the fabulous wedding where I get to see you marry your man, and everything else is icing!
I am a notary so pretty much I bet I can marry the both of you in case you cannot find anyone. See, everyone is so helpful!

aubyn said...


Jessielynn said...

Well said, my sister. The Lord will indeed restore, and it is right to give Him thanks and praise with MANY witnesses! =)

Anonymous said...

I can read!!! How's that for a blanket statement?


Anonymous said...

You're getting married?! What the hell?! Since when?! LOL

Hmm...I like blankets.

Anonymous said...

I would rather have a whole bottle of wine with you than merely a glass. Jeremiah was a good friend of mine! JGR