provocation

My parents gave Rob and I a night at a local hotel on our wedding night, since the condo was full of friends who had loaned us their house... and no one wanted us at the house. I can't IMAGINE why.

Because the wedding day was especially busy and full and I was especially busy not freaking out, I asked my good friends K and KT to take our bags and check us into the hotel. In doing so, I warned them that I was trusting them very much and told them the following stories:

A few friends of mine were staying at the bride's (empty) grandmother's house for at least one night post-wedding. This snappy lady tied small bells to the frame and springs of the bed they were staying in, then hung a framed 8x10 photo of herself high on the wall at the foot of the bed. I think this is the best kind of ornery: sweet and funny.

A former co-worker, upon getting married, had asked her grandmother and aunt to check her and her new husband into the hotel the night of their wedding. They arrived at the room to see rose petals on the bed and, when they threw back the (shorted) sheets with eager anticipation of each other, discovered the cornflakes and honey that the thoughtful women had added for "fun."

I think this is horrible and mean, and it would have required a change of rooms or a change of sheets at the very least, which is one of the last things anyone wants to do after a day full (for most brides) of freaking out. I begged K and KT to be kind and not to inspire murderous thoughts in me on the day of my long-awaited wedding. They promised cornflakes, honey, and more.

We arrived to a lovely room and the promised items on the bed, plus two bags of M&Ms: