Wednesday, April 7, 2010

no qualifying "for his age" here, because that's just unnecessarily insulting

I am collecting all the immediate family's birthdays so that they quit sneaking up on me, because those sneaky birthdays give me giant WEDGIES when they catch me. And then they pull my pants down to my ankles. The birthdays. Not my immediate family... because I would no longer be SPEAKING to my immediate family, must less celebrating their birthdays, if they were pantsing me all the time.

That would be very embarrassing, and I will not stand for it. Therefore: birthday collecting. I'm trying to be good and get the actual year people were born, so that when it's a big-un, I can send an appropriately inappropriate card that mocks them for being really young, being really old, or constantly wetting themselves (Aislynn, I'm looking at you here!).

I have resorted to stalking my own family (and Rob's and big Blake's too) on Facebook. I already have almost all the details on the Morstad and Myers sides of things, so really, I'm collecting the Bedford side of things, and only the IMMEDIATE family, because if I added aunts, uncles, and cousins, I am not sure that my Excel spreadsheet would expand to fit all of them (same goes for the Morstad and, heck, the Myers families too).

THAT'S RIGHT. I SAID "EXCEL SPREADSHEET." Seriously, I'm anal and organized. Why don't you get that?

I found my father-in-love, Cec's (his name is pronounced "cease") profile and his birth year and exclaimed:

A: Your dad was born in...
R: Nineteen blankety-blank on the nose! I hope I look as good as him when I'm his age.
A: I hope you do too!

In hindsight, I said that last part a leetle enthusiastically (and I concealed the real birth date, because Poppa Cease did not sign up to have his personal details broadcast to my tens of readers). But the point remains that he's a good-lookin' man, and I married into that family.



Addie said...

Also, in case it's not clear: if I am directly related to you by marriage or blood and you think there is a chance I do NOT know what year you were born in...

Please email me. Or... maybe I will take a picture the next time your birthday sneaks up on me, then send it to you.

No one needs to see that. Just email me. adelemorstad (at) gmail (dot) com

Joy Joy said...

OK, so my birthday is June 15th, 1982. I'm pretty sure cousin's cousin counts as IMMEDIATE family :)

TokranePo said...

Make it a google calendar and be super googlified!

leblogdelossmiths said...

LOL you totally have a crush on Rob's dad!

haha um...Lonnie's dad is good looking too for his age. both his sons are handsome, and his grandsons as well. attractive offspring is always a plus.

Grammie Perrine said...

A youngster (20ish) came up to Barney when we were at the Lil' Bayou and asked him to dance and said "You are the best looking old guy in the place". WOW double insult.. "You are old and I only asked you to dance cuz the other good-looking old guys must be at another restaurant tonight".