attitude of gratitude

I'm trying to cultivate one. Life has been just plain weird lately, and I have a hard time posting anything when I can't take a step back and laugh at myself first. Here's a smattering of what's going on:

• We looked at a house on an acre and ultimately decided that it needed FAR too much work to make it livable for us, plus we would have had to offer nearly $75K less than they were asking. And the basement smelled like cat pee, which would have sent my super-sensitive nose into major revolt.
• We discovered that our price range was much lower than we'd assumed, since we're trying to keep the mortgage payment small and non-scary so that we afford other luxuries: me staying home with more kids, Rob adopting Blake, etc. Rob's bummed, I'm encouraged - there are still PLENTY of homes out there for $225K and less.
• I have had yellow finches and a bobolink at the feeder, and I love it.
• We've listed our place, and the photos look AMAZING. Blake snuck into one of them, apparently at the photographer's encouragement. Where's Waldo?! I need to edit the listing because 1) there's a typo, 2) I'm an EDITOR and I can't help myself, 3) it's kind of bland as written.
  
• I'm now making sure our place is in showable condition EVERY time I leave. It's work, yes, but I want to be able to say "Yeah! Show away!" if a realtor calls. Besides, every time I come back home, I walk in and think "This is WONDERFUL! I want to live here!" Then we explode everywhere and the moment passes.
• Blake and I have been working on potty-training at night again, at the doctor's urging ("Pull-Ups will always feel dry - I'd go without them for a while and just suffer through the laundry so he can get those nighttimes back"). After a full month of washing sheets nearly every damn day, I've decided that Pull-Ups are better than the alternative of me going batshit insane. Besides, there's been so much change in his life, he's got some genetic tendencies towards bed-wetting, he sleeps incredibly deeply, and his frustration and disappointment was also spilling over into his daytime potty-training. For those of you keeping track, this is now two years of on-and-off toilet training. Awesome.
  
• Rob and I now celebrate this pronouncement coming from the bathroom: "No sharts!"
• The weather is, once again, crushing my soul. Spring has been late and extremely slow in coming, and while I was hopeful that we'd just have rain from here on out, we woke up to snow this morning. It is hard to be cheerful when you're worried about your cheerful flowers, your tomatoes, your strawberries, and your basil. I have gone through THREE basil starts so far.
• My skin is starting to show signs of stress. Apparently, when I'm stressed, I don't stop eating - oh no, that would be TOO easy, helpful even! I don't feel ill or sleep poorly. I get mean. And my skin just looks old, except where it decides to look like a teenager and break out into clusters of pimples. Rob is SO LUCKY!
• Blake's learned that he can make others laugh by being obnoxiously silly and wild. This is very fun for everyone... under the age of eight.

Finally, a mouse meandered across our back patio not even an hour ago. It was sluggish, possibly due to the chill in the air, and by the time I whipped around the corner after it, wielding the most handy weapon (Blake's shoe), it was still in sight. I looked ridiculous as I tried to flatten it with a child's size 12, it looked ridiculous as it tried to get out of the foundation well, and I immediately attracted the attention of both Blake and our neighbors.
"Don't kill it!" the neighbors called over.
"Why not?! It's a rodent - they are the enemy!" I replied.
"What is it?"
"A mouse!"
"Oh, KILL IT."

Blake watched closely, even running to bring me a hand trowel so that I could quickly finish the poor thing without just torturing it to death. He then had all kinds of questions about suffering and why the back legs were twitching, but was surprisingly unfazed by his momma's need to eliminate the rodent that was sniffing around the foundation. I cannot decide if this is reassuring or frightening.

So what I'm grateful for today? Clear limits on our borrowing comfort for a home, family heading into town for a brief visit, the coffee I enjoy daily and gin I plan to enjoy once it's warm enough for gin slush, and a little boy who loves me so enthusiastically, despite my heavy head these days.