Monday, June 28, 2010

the problem is that's not going over too well either

At what point does protecting my new-born nuclear family become selfish?

At what point do I know I am doing enough to care for the feelings of all the families I am related to? When do Rob and I get to decide how much seeing of everyone is enough, how much is not enough, and how much can and should be done from our home base?

My head and heart are spinning and hurt and confused about all the people I want to come through for, make sacrifices for, and bend over backwards for.

The problem is that the two men I live with are getting lost in my shuffle and my need to meet everyone else's expectations. And so I quit. I'm not traveling anywhere without both Rob and Blake, not for long weekends or get-aways, not for camping or meet-ups or drop-offs. I'm tired of feeling widowed all over again when I have to go somewhere without my husband, and I'm tired of Blake's time looking more like that of a child of divorced parents. I quit.

Come to us. We just can't go anywhere right now.

UPDATE: And praise God for understanding from those I am disappointing. Just to be perfectly clear about that.


Jody McComas said...

You definitely need boundaries to protect your little family now. And I think it's only fair to say come visit me. Good luck with that. I know it's not fun to feel like you're disappointing others or buried under expectations. Love you!

Dana and Andrea Davenport said...

I second Jody's comment. While you're here you could visit us. All-a-y'all.
Sorry to hear about this stress. Bum deal. :(
Stand your ground doll.

Brenden said...

Good for you Addie.

Cat said...

Right on, sister.

Crystal Young said...

I, for one, am not disappointed. I am encouraged that someone is willing to put their families needs above their friends. That's why you became a family unit. You should take time to enjoy each other.