the perks of living in bozeman

While checking out at Costco today, I heard a familiar voice say, "Look who it is!" and two familiar voices jubilantly holler "ADDIE & BLAKE, MOM! ADDIE & BLAKE!"

I turned around to see my favorite twin monkeys jumping up and down with excitement. Not over me, no no. Over the cinnamon twist they were about to be bribed with in order to navigate the wilds of Costco with their momma. And Sawyer was there too, sporting a giant green bruise on his forehead (he tests the hardness of most floor surfaces with the same spot on his forehead, brave kid). He smiled when he saw me, at first, then quickly remembered that he is very very suspicious of me and my clear ill-intent towards him and all that he holds dear. He scrunches his forehead and looks worried and a little crabby.

So I tickled him.

Reese portioned out cinnamon twist to all the boys, I volunteered to eat ours with the monkeys over in the food court if she promised to run her little ass off (seriously, it's tiny - barely any left to be run off!) getting what she needed. We'd nibble, then call her or come find her.

We nibbled, Blake spun the umbrella in the center of the table (side note: Costco, why are there umbrellas on some - not all! - of your tables that are inside your giant concrete building? Is it to protect some - not all! - of your customers' food from the bird poo that must occasionally fall from the tweeters that roost in your rafters?), I heard all about gymnastics. I told them we'd take my groceries to my car, then go find their mom, and Smith stood right up on his bench, bent over the side of my cart, and hoisted the nearest thing in his arms: "I'm ready."

Once I had convinced him that we were, in fact, taking the WHOLE CART with us, every boy grabbed a hold of the metal grid and we pushed and pulled through the slush to my car. And then we went back inside and I was quickly made very aware that I was outnumbered. My hands were outnumbered. I had to think fast or it would all come crashing down when they realized this same thing and decided to run in three different directions. Screaming. While on fire.

We made our way quickly to one of the aisles along the wall. It was empty. "You guys better run to the end of this aisle while we look for your mom. One... two... threeGO!"

And run they did. While making "sching! sching!" noises to give life to their pretend ninja swords. And pretending to be on fire. I'm not sure - it was hard to tell with all the yelling. They all asked very politely for a sample of Activia yogurt, and while I'm sure each of them is plenty regular, I said yes. We ran down a few more aisles when my phone rang. Reese was wondering where we were.

"Frozen foods! We are looking for you. Where are you?"
"At my car."
"We will probably not find you in here then!"

I helped them get loaded up, was told by Reese that I must have been sent by an angel of the Lord - and really, who doesn't want to hear that? - and we went our separate ways.

Until I pulled up alongside them on 19th street and made crazy faces while waving like a huge nerd until the twins alerted her to my car's presence right next to hers.

We didn't even crash!