Thursday, February 24, 2011

update on the weepy warbler

I have gotten nothing but encouragement and affirmation for my habit of crying during worship. It's taken me rather by surprise (and most of the stuff that really drove it home wasn't even in the comments - it was directly from people directly affected by my singing). One woman stopped me after church to tell me how much she loved it when I sing. I barely know her, and she was wreathed in gladness and smiles and a hug. Another didn't tell me directly, but told a mutual friend. The first thing out of her mouth after they greeted one another after the service was "I love it when Addie cries during worship. It's so real and helps me be real too."

And then others have said they do not notice. Also, the news that singing makes me terribly nervous and/or anxious? It totally flabbergasts them.

I think it's the secret of resting the mic on my chin. They cannot see it wobble.

What I've taken from this is that I need to keep singing. There will be no off-limits songs, since that's no guarantee I won't turn on the waterworks. I'll be brave and vulnerable and just take what comes when it comes. I will probably also bring Kleenex just in case, so I don't have to wipe myself off on my sleeves.

My next battle will be my vanity. If I'm going to cry, by gosh, I would like to know how to do so prettily, without my nose turning red and shiny and my mouth and chin contorting into new and fascinating shapes.

I will start singing with a paper bag over my head. That'll fix it. Much less distracting!


Lonnie Smith said...

I cry when I sing too... mostly cuz it hurts my ears.

Jamie said...

Oh Addie, I love you. :)

Betsy Rivers said...

I think this post and the one before were very interesting, Addie - I play violin in church and am often moved by the songs we play - but when I am in the congregation singing along with the words, I can rarely keep from crying. I agree with the person who said that your showing of emotion helps make it more real - whatever you do, don't quit serving with your gifts. Remember the one you serve - He treasures you, your voice, and your tears :)