Wednesday, June 22, 2011

selling the impossible dream

We have probably sold the condo. I say "probably" because it evidently takes an act of God to sell a condo in this market. Especially OUR condo. Because everything I do must take an act of God. I'm very godly or something.

We have a buyer. We have a buyer who is VERY interested and loves our property and made us an insultingly low offer a few weeks ago. We (and when I say "we," I mean "I," because legally, Rob does not own the condo, it's the monkey on my back alone... legally, even though he pays for it every day in a myriad of ways, by virtue of being married to me. Legally.) laughed at this offer that was $18K less than our asking price, which was already so reasonable! and low! and countered. They came back with their final offer that was still $10K less than our reasonable counteroffer. I snipped to our lovely realtor that they must not really want OUR condo, and that was that.

The next day, I peed on a stick. The day after that, we called our realtor and asked her to go begging on our behalf. She could use whatever tricks were at her disposal to wheedle the buyers into being interested in our condo again, but she should really emphasize that pregnancy makes people desperate. We came to an agreement on pricing and an option to live in the condo, rent-free, for six months after closing. We and these buyers agreed on almost everything! It was perfect! A match made in heaven!

Then we had the inspection. After fixing things the ORIGINAL BUILDER or his crew or his subcontractors had done (to the tune of $1500), we again agreed on almost everything! It was perfect! A match made in heaven!

Then the banks got involved. Right now, the bank is reluctant to approve the buyers' loan because of - get this - my neighbors. That's right. Something I cannot fix. Cannot change. Cannot whip them into shape, though it's not for lack of hissing epithets in their general direction. So many of them are late on their HOA dues ($80-85/month) that the bank sees it as problematic for a loan. The good news is that the buyers still really want it, love the property, are willing to wait on the lender to figure things out and are even pursuing a local lender to see if that speeds things up.

Even though these buyers have kind of put me through the ringer, the fact that they have not lost interest despite the hurdles in buying our place means I love them and will be the BEST free renter EVER. Because once I can tie a bow on our place and present it cheerfully to them, we're hoping/planning to have Matt build a wonderful house that will work for our family for years to come. WITH A GUEST ROOM!

Please visit. I've now taken away all your excuses. We'll have room, a yard, a yowling baby in the wee hours, I'm a great cook and now Rob's learning how to brew his own beer.

BEST HOSTS EVER. I would like to be valedictorian of that.


Noel said...

f-ing neighbors! That's scary. I'm hoping it all works out. I'm looking forward to that guest room.

Gailzee said...

I find this whole scenario so strange. I am wondering why the bank is looking at YOUR neighbors when the buyers financial history is what really matters! Good gosh!
I would love to spend the night in your guest room, converse with that sweet Blake, hold your darling baby, and maybe have a drink of Rob's homemade brew! Count me in!

Beth said...

So how big is this potential guest room? 'Cause I'm thinking Blake and Cate would get along famously...

Also, you win the award for "best thing i've read today" with "I would like to be valedictorian of that." :)

Crystal Young said...

If that is true then my house will never sell. My neighbors are a church with a prison ministry (where they bring the prisoners to the neighborhood) and a halfway house.

lanerdoo said...


I want to be there when Gail samples Rob's beer. Hopefully the guest room will be really big, maybe more like a suite, so the kids don't bug me when we are vacationing at your house :)

Anonymous said...

hah! My HOA fees have recently doubled and are now over $700.

Even bargain priced at $50k, what buyer would even consider an HOA payment that is bigger than the mortgage, and will continue to go up.

Impossible, right?