in and out

Marilla has some interesting tastes. She likes spicy, but things that are normally well within my tolerance have my mouth a-burning more than usual, like my own Thai recipes. There are some other strange changes as well. I've decided to chronicle them a la Heidi Klum on Project Runway.

Coke or Pepsi: You're in. The sweet but almost savory taste of you is just exactly right and so very refreshing, despite the fact that I wouldn't even SLUM with you before now, if my original soda of choice was unavailable.

Dr. Pepper: You're out. Cloyingly sweet and almost syrupy, there are very few things I want you to accompany at meal time, and drinking you alone is absolutely unthinkable. I know we've grown up together and you were the source of some real friction between me and big Blake, but just think of how proud he'd be of me now, having forsworn you.

Smarties or Haribo Gummies: You're in. Fruity candy is my favorite! A three-pound bag of gummi bears from World Market? Don't mind if I do. My jaw will be very sore from all the chewy goodness, but it will be the soreness of a good workout. Probably.

Chocolate (including M&Ms) or caramel: You're out. I'm not sure why. I can do a rare and very specific kind of truffle from La Chatelaine, but otherwise I still have Milk Duds in the pantry from before we moved. I made caramels over Christmas. Delicious, melty, chewy caramels that I can easily pass by on my way to my enormous bag of gummi bears, when homemade caramels used to be the bane of my sweet tooth.

Orbit spearmint gum: You're out. Too sweet.

Extra peppermint gum: You're in. Nice and spicy! Too bad I just bought a Costco-sized box of the wrong-flavored Orbit before discovering this. Dammit.

White chocolate mochas: You're out. Too sweet no matter how little white chocolate powder I add. If I skip the powder, I can't drink the bitter brew. WHAT THE HELL?! I LIVED ON THESE!!! 

Eggnog lattes: You're in. Or at least you were, when I could still find eggnog. Dammit.

Double 12-oz peppermint white mochas with half the syrup: You're in. Since when do I prefer the taste of Starbucks? Marilla, you done sold out, yo.

Caramel corn: You're out. Too sweet and sticky, but at least good and crunchy.

BBQ potato chips: You're in. I never ever EVER eat potato chips. Until now, apparently. Savory and crunchy and get this bag away from me.

Fruit: You're in. I can't get enough because I actually feel GOOD about you! Yay fruit!

Vegetables: You're out. Marilla and I are going to have some serious words over this, because I LIKE VEGGIES. The few I've been able to steadily abide are edamame, sweet potato fries, broccoli, and artichokes. Nice and starchy. My usual standby, avocados, have been relegated to the dust bin, but I'm just SURE it's because I cannot find good ripe ones, and by the time they are ripe, they are overripe and brown in the depths of my fridge and it's too sad to cut into one and promptly have to throw it away. How do you have nachos without chunks of avocado, I ask you? You don't.

Auf wiedersehen.