the dumps

No joke, that's the name of the beach we enjoyed most on south Maui. You drive past, well, everything. Upon reaching the incredibly narrow portion of the road, you take turns with any oncoming traffic to pass each other and poop your pants in the process, and you're quickly into a nature preserve. Since it's a lumpy lava field, here's the only real "nature" we saw from the road:

Chocolate brown goats, that you almost missed because they were the precise color of the rock, just not as sharp and jagged-looking.

Toes on the beach. We looked out at Molokini crater on the black lava rock spread. There were scrubby trees for a little bit of shade, and the snorkeling here was excellent. The fish were plentiful, large, and varied. We saw a puffer fish, a baby eel, and two sea turtles, among others. Despite our best efforts to scare the puffer fish into puffing, he practically flipped us the bird as he slowly swam deeply enough that he was safely out of our reach.

Molokini crater, site of 160-foot visibility and great snorkeling/diving.

When we got to the beach, the lot was nearly full of beater cars (the surest sign of a local: they do not drive Mustang convertibles!). There's a short walk on lava rock to the beach itself, and we crested a little rise to see all these locals waiting patiently in the surf. They were so thick, I was just confident they'd run into each other and knock heads.

But apparently good surfers don't do that.

They do, however, sometimes fall:

The only shot I'll permit of me in a swimsuit. I'm taking my fins off, I think, and possibly telling these guys about the sea turtles. Look at that cheesy grin!

There's no escaping it: the fella is a bit of a ginger. I hope our kids are too.

They might also have freckles and lots of 'em. That enormous freckle you see there, in place of my face? Yeah, that's mostly faded. Mostly. Back to face again.

Honeymooooooners!