mobile once more

The doctor's visit was a success, with some qualifiers. He drained 140 ccs from my knee (four enormous syringes' worth, or over half a cup) and shot in some steroids for good measure. The fluid was the color of Mountain Dew (normal), was not fizzy (also normal), but was cloudy (indicates inflammation, which indicates further testing is needed). That fluid and my subsequent bloodwork (again!) are being tested for gout, rheumatoid arthritis, parvovirus, and Lyme disease.

The doc thinks gout is out of the question due to my age. Parvo would be good news, despite making me feel like a dog or cat: it takes care of itself. Lyme is unclear to me: treatable, but I seem to recall it having lasting effects that crop up in all sorts of weird places. Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) seems the most likely, but for a few strange factors: my age, the single joint affected, the speed with which an appalling amount of fluid accumulated.

Doc claims he does not see any flukes, as in "That was weird - we don't know why it happened, here's hoping it doesn't come back, can't find a cause." I'm praying that I'm the exception to that rule, but he was talking like he'd be seeing me in a few weeks to drain again, and that after three times being drained, he'd need to get me on some drugs that would require me to stop breastfeeding Vesper. Having my knee refill with fluid would be totally normal for RA, but he also said that not refilling would be normal.

It is hard to know what to think, because the list of options just seems... grim. I'm praying that it's nothing, does not recur, and that this would be an anomaly in the doctor's practice. If pressed, I'm willing to admit to a desire to be a reflection of God's glory in whatever He hands me, but I would also like that to be done without further suffering on my part, as unrealistic as that is.

I brought my camera to take a picture, but I sure as hell wasn't going to do it and couldn't have done so with my eyes closed. Rob's hands were full of a fussy Vesper, and trying to soothe her without moving too much proved marvelously distracting for me. My knee feels a little weak, but that could be muscular, after favoring it all week. It's nice to be physically comfortable again and to feel confident that when I pick up my daughter, I'm not at risk for sudden collapse. I am not quite frightened about what the test results may show, but I'm more than merely anxious, and I really really really don't want to go through this again.

So now we wait.

Barf.