story time

Blake's class has been writing instruction manuals, to help them think through a process and its logical steps. These are the two he's brought home so far, and I love them. I love his thought process, his illustrations, and his phonetic spelling.

"How to make a peenut and butr jelly"

Translation: How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Accompanied by LEGO Ninjago figures, because all sandwiches taste better with ninjas.

"How to make a peenut and butr jelley samwich"

"I get my muteerreells out. I love those peenut and buter jellee sanwichis."

Translation: How to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I get my materials out. I love those peanut butter and jelly sandwiches."

"Then I get the jellee then sperred it on the one pees of bired."

Translation: Then I get the jelly then spread it on the one piece of bread.

"Then I spred peenut butter on the other pees of bred."

Translation: Then I spread peanut butter on the other piece of bread.

"Then I smak the two peesis of bred toogether pick it up and eat it it tase yummy mmmmmm."

Translation: Then I smack the two pieces of bread together, pick it up, and eat it. It tastes yummy. MMMMM.

"How to make your bed"

"I get all my muteells to make my bed. First I put my sheess on my bed then I put my cuftre on my bed."

Translation: I get all my materials to make my bed. First I put my sheets on my bed, then I put my comforter on my bed.

"Nekst I put my deckrash pellos on my bed. Then I put my sooperman blankent on my bed."

Translation: Next I put my decorish pillows on my bed. Then I put my Superman blanket on my bed.

"Finely I can go to sleep on my bed at nite time. I like to make my bed. It helps keep my room kling."

Translation: Finally I can go to sleep on my bed at nighttime. I like to make my bed. It helps keep my room clean.

 

"My blankent has sooperman on it. My shees are blue. My cufter is green. My pellow is blue with red."

Translation: My blanket has Superman on it. My sheets are blue. My comforter is green. My pillow is blue with red."

picture post

 My two best boys, learning more about Transformer Jazz.

 Took two years, but I rebloomed an orchid, baby! Next time I hope to get more than one flower. Now I want to collect orchids and be surrounded by their strange and exotic beauty all the time.

 "You can't eat Gunner, Mom. He's my best friend." -Sawyer

 I saw this print at Target and had a brilliant idea for the upstairs bathroom...

 And my friend Michelle made it happen and even helped me install it. And by "helped," I mean "did it all by herself while I cracked jokes and teased her son, who asked if I had a baby in my belly, to which I said yes, to which he asked if I had eaten my baby."

 Blake now loves Monopoly. Mom tried to send it home with us, like a crafty, crafty, naughty girl, and I said NO! It's way more special when he doesn't have it always close at hand and I don't have to play every day. Also, I learned that the kid is tight fisted when it comes to pretend money.

 But not other people's money! Grammie Gee sent some down with Aunt Ernie, who added her own to the stash, and we took Blake to Target and let him pick out what he wanted. Ernie kept a tally in her head and let him know when he was close to maxing out. As we walked away from the toy department with several LEGOs, a double-sided light saber, and I honestly don't remember what else, Blake let out of a huff of air and said, "Wow. I am REALLY getting spoiled today."

Yeah, you are, honey. But the fact that you recognize it makes it okay.

 

Gunner George, chilling out maxing relaxing all cool with his newsboy hat.

 

 Sawdog, pants optional on this hot sunny day. 

Uncle Dan-O and Blake, chillin' on the porch.

Blake, proudly showing off his new, queen-sized bed (Rob and I figured he's going to be tall like Daddy Blake and didn't mess around with the full-sized mattress, plus we can use this one for guests if need be: COME VISIT!).

He cleaned his room and Erin willingly documented the tidy evidence.

Biking to the park.

Before they left, Dan helped Rob both bottle one batch of home brew and whip up a second batch. He had so much fun that he promptly went home to Calgary and used equipment he already had to make his OWN home brew. These guys were all so cute that I had to take a picture of them taking pictures. :)

Blake's contribution to the thank you note we sent to Dan and Erin after their visit. Yeah, so it made me cry. I blame the pregnancy hormones and the incredible sweetness this little man is capable of.

oh, motherhood

Happy day to mothers of all kinds, with especial love to those who hearts yearn for motherhood and are as yet unfulfilled. May this post bless you all as it blessed me today!

Momica: I'm constantly striving to be as fun and engaging and creative as you are ALL THE TIME, even when I can only muster five minutes at a stretch. I love you. I also love that you have a name that so easily becomes an affectionate nickname.

Nonna: Your sweet spirit and abounding generosity are an encouragement and challenge to me daily. Thank you for your enduringly patient son.

Grammie Gee: I'm grateful for your kind thoughtfulness, especially to Blake, who loves you passionately and misses you terribly.

Grammie Patsy: Your steady practicality and no-nonsense love make my heart beat faster, both because I can be so impractical yet no-nonsense as well. I appreciate you!

To my sisters: I love our relationships, and seeing you grow in grace and beauty and wisdom as mothers is such a privilege. I never want to take our closeness for granted, for what we have is rare and precious. I love you and all your little monkeys (with one girly angel thrown in) to an alarming degree. Thank you for your indulgent affection for me and MY monkey plus the anticipated biscuit. Lane, never call said biscuit "herm" again, you stinker!

nashville by the numbers

3 - Bedfords traveling.
5 - Days we were out.
1 - Checked bag (HOLLA!).
80s - Temps in Nashville.
40s - Temps in Bozeman. We got off the plane upon return and all sighed in relief. "This is what I've grown used to," Rob said. "THIS is what May should feel like: cool and dry."
81 - Dollars spent on a screaming deal I got for a rental car (I also spent points from a card we don't use any more).
149 - Dollars the rental agent tried to get Rob to believe were required additional insurance. I assured her we were okay paying personally and being reimbursed by our (excellent) car insurance in the very unlikely event of an accident and requested she remove the optional charges. She turned to Rob and said, "Mr. Bedford, are you sure this is something you want to decline? It really matters for you since YOURS is the name on the agreement." My eyes widened as she essentially put herself squarely between me and my husband, and I quickly turned and walked to a garbage can to throw something away before I said things we'd all regret. Rob assured her that if I said no, he said no too, and she was quite cold to us for the rest of the transaction.
0 - Rental car lady.
1 - Addie.
1000+ - Square feet in the room at the resort we stayed in. Blake was disappointed because it was small like the condo. Rob and I were amazed because it was huge and wonderful and the place we all hung out all the time because THERE WAS ROOM! Plus, there was a working ice maker. I didn't have to hoard the ice like Gollum guarding his precious. It was amazing.
1 - Hooding ceremony we attended for the new doctor in the family! Congrats to Dr. Auntie Bip!
15 - Minutes we were late to said ceremony.
50 - Squeaky steps we traipsed down to reach our seats. I had to cover my mouth to keep from giggling as each step proclaimed "We're. Late. We're Late. All. Eyes. On. Us."
0 - Graduation ceremonies we attended. Dr. AB graciously released us from the formalities for the sake of our kiddo. And probably my bladder.
35 - Weeks along. I reached this blessed milestone in Tennessee, y'all.
0 - Belly stretch marks displayed when I went swimming in my new green bikini (but don't worry: I got all my stretch marks on my hips in 5th/6th grade from growing too quickly), because I inherited this benefit from my momma. Loves you, Mom!
innumerable - Bathroom visits by the pregnant lady. There were times I would get just outside the bathroom door and feel the urge to pee AGAIN. I reached a point where I truly believed my bladder was a lying bitch. Urination as hobby: not awesome.
1 - Visit to the LEGO store. Blake was in heaven, with Rob a very close second.
1 - Chick-fil-A meal.
10+ - Times I wish we had eaten Chick-fil-A after that first time. YUM.
5-10 - Ice cream stops.
100+ - Times I requested ice cream.
2 - Wins for Addie at Settlers of Catan.
400+ - Times Blake used the phrase "actually quite" during the trip. "This is actually quite fun." "We're actually going quite fast." Pretty sure he gets "actually" from me, "quite" from Aunt Erin.
1 - Time we swam. Blake insisted on the indoor pool because of all the tiny bugs floating on the outdoor pools. Despite a lightning storm torpedoing our plans to swim again (Who knew they shut down INDOOR pools during an electrical storm for fear of a building strike then reaching the pool? Seems like something the Mythbusters should test...), swimming was his favorite part of the whole trip.

Vacations just got a TON simpler for the Bedfords. We could rent a room at the Ramada off 7th and just use their tiny waterslide. Blake would be none the wiser and happier than a clam.

pre-partum update

I'm at that same stage of pregnancy where last time, quite abruptly, I was on my own for the rest of it... as much as I could be with family, friends, and church bodies immediately surrounding me and helping me to stand up through it all.

I'm trying to get out of my own head, for I've never given my subconscious too much rein. I'm praying that my expectations for the next six weeks would be reasonable. I'm asking that God would bless me with a therapeutic remainder of pregnancy, labor, and delivery. I'm asking that it not be a revisitation of past emotional trauma. I know it's too much to ask that it not include physical trauma - see how reasonable my expectations are?!

I'm scared and tired of every. little. thing. being hard. I just want a "normal" pregnancy with "normal" pregnancy fears and hopes and dreams, and I'm annoyed for everyone's sake that this family doesn't get that. Rob's navigating a wife who is doing her best to express what's going on in her heart even when it's hard and she'd much rather just wrestle quietly with God alone, to spare him. I'm navigating a husband who is keenly attuned to my spirit and has already warned co-workers that he might be distracted for my sake in the next weeks.

I'm starting every paragraph in this post with "I'm." I'm so self-involved!

I'm enjoying the movement of our little one, and it's fun to press back on them and murmur love to them, hugging my round belly affectionately. I'm in fear of sneezing unprepared, because then I have to change my pants. I'm chewing ice like there's no tomorrow, and though I'm a bit concerned for the potential for cavities, I can't stop. Rob wants to write a thesis on "pregnancy addiction" based solely on how I treat our ice trays. Blake likes hugging and kissing my stomach, and his response to feeling the baby move is just magical. When I told him the baby would recognize his and Rob's voices, as well as mine, he was dumbfounded. I think we'll need to find a gift for him to give the baby upon arrival, maybe a special blanket, which he can absolutely relate to, having two he sleeps with every night.

I'm not ready with a nursery because it just seems like too much work. The crib needs to be assembled and wiped down with hot, soapy water after seeing plenty of use in the last seven years. The hand-me-down changing table needs the same soapy treatment, but beyond that, I have no inspiration or plans. Baby will be in our room for the first good while anyway, and without knowing the flavor, I have no opinion on colors or decor just yet. I kind of want to paint, so we'll see how that goes, postpartum.

I'm off to make the boys puffy pancake for dinner, because that sounds yummy to all of us. If you're so inclined, I covet your prayers for these next weeks and months, for the same things I mentioned above. This post isn't about garnering pity/sympathy/admiration/concern/praise. It's just updating you on where I find myself right now. I haven't managed to post photos or funny stories because all of the above has me pressed down too much to carve out time here. I still have photos and funny stories, and maybe sharing my burden, my "heavy head," if you will, will enable me to shake some of those loose for you.

Because they are good. So so good. I regularly marvel at the goodness and blessing in my life. Usually while eating ice cream. So so good.

he's recovered, but we still have a phone date

We got to host Dan and Erin from Calgary this past weekend! It was delightful - they arrived Friday early evening and left Monday afternoon, so the visit felt substantial and good, not rushed. Though I was originally concerned when I learned they were vegan (and have been for years - where the hell was my head?!), not only were they really gracious about it, it was easy to accommodate. We even went out for pizza the first night.

I wasn't TRYING to be snarky by ordering the "Carnivoro," it's just what looked good to my baby-belly-eyes.

Blake was in heaven. He and Erin (whom we call "Ernie," a throwback to what I always heard big Blake refer to her as, from when HE was small and had a hard time pronouncing "Erin") have a special bond. They just love to soak each other up. He made her breakfast one morning, and I don't think she had the heart to tell him that Eggos didn't fit her eating plan (See what I mean? Gracious!). We hit the park, visited the Schuylers, ate REALLY well, shopped, bottled and made beer, enjoyed the sun on the back porch, and pretty much just had an all around good time. Rob and Dan hit it off especially, and Rob's been sending Dan photos of the dark beer they concocted together. They might plan a summer trip back down to both meet the baby and taste this dark brew that has to age for a few months.

I came to Blake's room this morning to find him sobbing on the floor, still in his jammies. "I just miss Aunt Ernie so much," he said between deep gulps, as I pulled him onto what little lap I have left and stroked his back, trying vainly to comfort him about when we'd be able to visit them again. The only effective distraction from his heartache was when the baby began gently kicking his back and head.

Being an only (lonely) child is for the birds.

someone else can drive next year!

For the last three years, Rob and I have attended Montana Beer Fest, first as our "bachelor/bachelorette" party before we got married, then as a celebration of our anniversary. This year, we knew I'd obviously be unable to partake, but we were still determined to go. I bought a maternity tank and some iron-on studs and made myself a "DD" shirt so that I could have a flashy answer to anyone who raised an eyebrow at my presence.

Though the tank top turned out just as I'd imagined, I didn't realize that each "D" would be precisely positioned over each one of my girls. It was a little too, uh, attention-getting. I put a cardigan over top and prepared to display it discreetly as needed, but figured my water bottle (not beer-tasting cup) and belly would speak the volumes necessary. Despite my plans to keep it klassy and have a photo for you, my tens of readers, I think you'll understand when I aim for modesty THIS ONE TIME.

Turns out that a pregnant lady gets either ignored or a LOT of focused attention at a beer festival. Most people didn't look twice, but the ones that did seemed to really take note. In fact, Rob was chatting up a work acquaintance when this same acquaintance's friend saw my belly peeking from my coat (it was a chilly night) and gasped, exclaimed "YOU'RE PREGNANT, OH MY GOSH!" and put his hand on my stomach in delight. He then looked at my bemused face, realized with horror that he didn't know me, and, eyes wide, snatched his hand away as if burned, apologizing profusely.

The guy was probably mid-twenties, and the whole interaction was so disarmingly sweet and unexpected that I mentally took back my declaration of a few weeks before:
Thought for the day (a warning to strangers that will never see it, but still worthwhile): Rubbing my belly for good luck only works if you think "good luck" is being punched in the face by a pregnant woman. I have very clear boundaries, and if we were on a first name basis, you'd know that already.

Granted, he wasn't aiming for luck and quickly introduced himself; the whole thing has made me laugh numerous times since then. It helped that he worked for the brewery who had the favorite beer for the night (I usually had a sip of whatever Rob was trying, but beer has largely lost its appeal in pregnancy, which is really really helpful!): a bourbon-barrel-aged oatmeal stout from Lone Peak Brewery in Big Sky. YUM.

And happy anniversary to RobRob, my heartthrob, who really didn't know what he was getting into but who has handled that with remarkable aplomb. It's been three full years, and when I asked what stuck out most to him, his charmingly sentimental answer was "My absolute favorite times are those when I make you laugh, really laugh. That's the best." I was thinking anything from miraculous sale of house or condo, trip to Hawaii, getting debt-free, building a home/family together... you know, the stuff to write home about. But after having experienced making HIM really laugh in surprise earlier that evening, I had to agree: That's the best.

all this after ice cream post-lunch!

Blake played my parents like fiddles today. Grammie got him a Coke for dinner, which I reluctantly agreed to, then Papaw walked in to inform us he'd already had a strawberry Fanta and a chocolate bar when they were hanging out in the shop. Blake grinned, then Grammie wondered aloud if he'd even needed the cookie she gave him to tide him over until dinner.

We split the Coke and he does not get dessert.

meant to post this yesterday...

but there's still time. Happy Easter, one and all - He is risen!

i laughed until i died