i need to take grace lessons

"Reese, are you aware that your yard is full of rusty, bent nails?!" I said with alarm as I scanned the area for more and collected them in my hand.

"Yeah, the twins get them out from the garage. It's okay."

"No, it's not," I argued, eyes wide. "This is how tetanus happens!"

She paused, then said, "I'm pretty sure the nail has to be sticking out from something in order for it to really hurt you."

Muttering ungraciously, "Well, Blake and I would be the ones to prove the exception to THAT rule," I emptied my handful of hardware into the dumpster, even as I thought, "You know, she's right. I bet these aren't nearly as big a threat as I'm making them out to be. I should remove the corncob from my rear and throw it away too."

God's working on my humility. Not only are we studying Isaiah in Bible Study Fellowship (summary so far: scary!), but He's also not-too-gently pushing me off my high horse. I think I'm a better parent than you as evidenced by Blake's near-flawless behavior, but then that angel will wake before me, discover the 25-pound bag of sugar in the pantry, and dig out two handfuls, dusting the floor in the process of licking his fingers clean. Upon seeing (and feeling) the gritty spill, he will then attempt to mop it up via application of his small, pink tongue.

Chance of tetanus at Reese's: incredibly small.
Chance of sugar coma at Addie's: quite high.

i'll trust him again when he can start pushing the cart without playing bumper cars

While checking out yesterday, I realized that I had forgotten two items from my list. Holding my already purchased groceries and a small hand, I wound my way through the store to grab the last required ingredients for dinner.

I made sure to go through the same line so the checker wouldn't feel the need to check ID against my credit card again or charge me twice for the same groceries. I tried to keep Blake from dancing around in people's way, threw the last two things in my bag, and we made our way to the car.

When I went to the grocery store again this morning, sour cream, beer, and avocados in hand, the guy at the counter asked if I was throwing an early morning party.

"Nope. This is my third trip here in less than fifteen hours due to forgetting things off my list because shopping with a five-year-old is incredibly difficult... not to mention the part where I got home and exclaimed 'Hey, I don't remember buying Trix!'"

bunko quotes

S: I like it HARD. GRRR.

*****
L: Were you keeping track of our score?
S: No, you were.
L: Well how many points do we have?!
N (who is on the opposing team): Not many. Probably none.
...
S: Really?!

*****
S: I'm really craving pinching that butt.

*****
S: Smell that creaminess! Smell her dessert!
N: Lick it.
A: NO THANK YOU.

*****
L: Are you sunburned?
A: Yep. Stone cold sober. One beer...
L: SUNBURNED.
A: Oh. Yes.

*****
M: All I heard was "condoms" something something.

*****
S: Is that too much information?
L: (groaning and/or whimpering) Yes!

*****
A: My feet stink.
M (from other table): REALLY?

*****
M: Did you get a bunch of good quotes?
A: Nah, I feel kind of fuzzy tonight. Not enough sleep.
M: What about all the crap YOU said?
A: I don't usually write that down. (M gives A a skeptical look) It's suspicious that way! (pretending to write) "Oh, I am HILARIOUS - you guys don't even have to say anything!"
M: Well...
A: I'm not that self-involved. (M gives A a skeptical look) Well, at least I'm not tonight.

*****
C: I pretty much just put the donkey down my shirt and leave it there.

that's what he said

B: Mom, Dad put shaving cream in my oatmeal. It is DELICIOUS.
A: I think you mean whipping cream.

*****
M: (after listening to a long and not entirely coherent description of Phineas & Ferb) Are you pulling my leg?
B: (without missing a beat) No, but I can suck your toe all the way to Mexico.

*****
A: GROSS (while watching a show about a confectioner dipping bugs in chocolate).
B: That's not gross, it's awesome. Cuz they make bugs TASTE GOOD!

*****
B: Mom, I love your cooking.

*****
(After I called him a nickname that, while endearing to me, was not impressive enough for him)
R: Let's just stick with 'Your Majesty.'
A: 'Stick with?'
R: Start with.

*****
R: Blake, was it embarrassing to have your mom be the Royal Reader?
B: Nope! Not at all!

The Royal Reader gets to wear a crown and cape and reads while holding a scepter, which is then used to call on children at the end.

Rob found out about the costume and begged me to beg Mrs. Strand to take photos of this.

I read Polkabats and Octopus Slacks by Calef Brown to much giggling.

Blake seemed to really enjoy having me there, and it was a ton of fun, though I have a renewed respect for kindergarten teachers. They get to teach these kids all about how to behave in school - some of the kids have never been in such a structured environment - and it is like herding cats while blindfolded and drunk. And the cats are drunk too (these ones had just had chocolate milk). GO TEACHERS!

a story in photos, part 4

A note on where I got many of these photos:
Rob set up a website where everyone could load their photos. I sent out the link to everyone there, most people loaded their pictures, I cleaned up the duplicates and bad ones, then sent the link out again so that everyone (including the bride and groom) could download and print any of the photos that particularly suited their fancy. It worked like a charm, and I got great pictures of stuff and people that I otherwise would have missed out on! Sweetness.

Julian. See that camera in his hands? I'm sure he probably took SOME photos with it, but he was stubborn and did not send me any (see above). Here's hoping the Mr. and Mrs. are more fortunate.

Smiggadoon, a sharp-dressed man.

"You're pretty. And my wife."
"Thank you, and I know, and SCARY! I mean... exciting."

Looks like there's probably a damsel in distress, tied to train tracks somewhere.

Props!

Baby girl Schneiter has not yet made her appearance. Baby boy Perrine (Jetty Willson) was born September 15. He arrived without glasses or mustache.

L: Photo booths are fun!
B: Or worrisome!

M: Hmmm, something smells suspicious.
S: That would be you, my dear. Pass the lipstick.
M: Someone over there has candy. I can see it.

Lucky folks who do not need props to be really really ridiculously good-looking.

More ridiculously good-looking folks (that's my Grammie and aunt Gail).

Grammie Claire with her kids. Funny that she is the only one among them without grey hair...

We are doubtless that suspicious something that Mom caught whiff of earlier.

Bonnie and Clyde, I presume?

Girlhood friends. Everyone is apparently experienced at lining up their props to their faces.

I, however, have mustachioed teeth.

Happy end of vacation! We got home in time for Blake to have one last day at preschool before he started kindergarten. Rob's in the depths of working towards the final holiday push where it feels like he works every single day. I'm in the depths of finding my footing with a major schedule change and attempting to help BPL with the vision and future (or at least not getting in the way of the vision for the future). So much happened in September that I will save it for another post that will include MORE pictures - first day of school, Blake's first fundraiser, my car's fresh artwork, Jetty Perrine, and my costumed stint as the Royal Reader for kindergarten.

I am ready for a nap and a beer now.

a story in photos, part 3

Everyone knows the best part of a celebration is the after-party!

The happy couple. HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!

You can't evade my kisses any longer, Mr. Bone. Not that you were trying to...

The extended Nutting side.

Children of the cousins: Sawyer was already in bed, so we all set our children down, stepped back, and started cheering idiotically. The kids were alternately engaged with each other...

... and bewildered by us. But hey, no tears, right?! I can't tell if Smith is giving the evil eye to Noah or Mason.

Well, it was bound to happen. Aubyn photobombs, Blake poops out, Maddox gives the double thumbs up, Mason evacuates, Noah and Smith look elsewhere, and Selah has had ENOUGH ALREADY.

We're all here! Quick, everyone grab your spouse and we'll get a picture!

"BEDFORD, PUT THAT AWAY! I don't care if everyone else is laughing!"
My favorite expressions, in order: Rob, Reese, Lane, Hannah, Wes, me.

Sweet Saucy, with his sweet thumb. I assume it's sweet, because he's often tasting it, but I myself have not sampled its flavor. Nor do I plan to.

Jarred was in his element, reading animatedly to Selah and Noah.

A rare shot of the twins together, being held by a gentle bear Dale.

Yeah, it's fuzzy, but I love these faces, especially the smiles on both of 'em.

See where I get it? The charm and photogenics?

LOLLYPOPS!

BISCUITS!

The wedding done, we moved the tables under cover, grabbed beer/wine/soda, and began catching up or getting acquainted. Hans's family is delightful and warm, making themselves at ease among Aubyn's hordes of friends and family. The kids swarmed, adults chattered, and rain fell intermittently as we ate and enjoyed the haze of happy times.

Coming soon: the final "story in photos," composed largely of the results of the photo booth that the bride and groom thoughtfully provided in the form of a remote-controlled camera, a laptop to see your pics immediately, and props in order to loosen up and make sure that no one took themselves TOO seriously.

a story in photos, part 2

The wedding! We were called down to a recently mowed patch of grass down a bit from the house.

Awesome guests.

More awesome guests.

Here she comes! I was standing next to Momma Bone, so that's her camera you see there.

Betsy, Aubyn's violin teacher, serenaded her down the grassy aisle to her beloved Hans.

Jon officiated.

"New dress?"
"Don't start!"

I like you! You can tell by how I look at you.

Aubie's folks, Gail and Todd.

Aubyn's uncle Craig, grammie Claire, and sister Hannah.

My view. Blake had snagged a soda, pounded it, and was crinkling the can until a friend graciously stepped in and offered to hold it for the rest of the (blessedly brief) ceremony.

Kiss your bride!

We are married! Isn't it AWESOME?!

Yes, yes it is. The ceremony was tender and sweet, surrounded by the beauty of high desert and covered with grey clouds that didn't rain on us until after all was said and done. Hans and Aubyn: may you have many, many years together, full of the Lord's abundance. May His voice be real and true and winsome to you, blessing your marriage, home, and future. May He shower you with His love, rejoicing over you with singing.

And, because I just can't help myself, I prayed this over you two today. I love you guys.

Anglican Book of Common Prayer, Marriage

Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of all grace: Look with favor upon the world you have made, and for which your Son gave his life, and especially upon Hans and Aubyn, whom you make one flesh in Holy Matrimony. Amen.

Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. Amen.

Grant that their wills may be knit together in your will, and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and one another all the days of their life. Amen.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other's forgiveness and yours. Amen.

Make their life together a sign of Christ's love in this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. Amen.

Bestow on them, if it is your will, the gift and heritage of children, and the grace to bring them up to know you, to love you, and to serve you. Amen.

Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.

a story in photos, part 1

At the tail end of our August vacation (yes, it's been a month since then, but WHAT A MONTH!), we drove to Billings for my beloved cousin's wedding to a dear man who totally gets her. Aubyn and Hans: you two are a treat, and like Janelle pointed out, we knew it was going to be an awesome wedding, because the sign said so:

Do you think we turn here? I am not sure... it might be for a different wedding...

The photo collage of them at various ages. I loved seeing a new (young) side of Hans and reminiscing over familiar photos of Aubyn in her wee, cherubic years. My favorite photo of the two of them together is in the upper right. Aubyn's nose is in the book "The Care & Training of Husbands" while holding an apple to Hans mouth.

The scene, set before a wind and rain storm moved us cheerfully (and precipitously) into the garage.

Lovers of candy, the couple anticipated all the children that were coming and figured out that a sugar coma before the ceremony itself was probably the best way to keep them quiet.

The wind had some advantages.

Blake LOVED Hannah's & Jarred's boy, Noah. Noah loved him right back.
B: "Hi Noah! You shouldn't follow me down this way, because you might fall. I'll come help you."

B: "Here's a little path that you can walk to get down to where I was. Come on! Be careful!"

B: "Great job! ... You're cute! ... Yes, you are! ... Mom, I made him laugh!"

The thoughtful couple also provided a basket full of fun toys for kiddo entertainment. This was a balsa plane.

Smith had a foam rocket.

And Maddox had a "D'OH!" moment.

Hans's lovely family (from left): Ingrid, Hans, Annebritt, and Sven.

Another lovely family: Selah, Joy-Joy, Meggie, and Stef.

A breezy and casual Cathy, my Momica, and Meg.

Four generations: Meg, Joy, Grammie Claire, and Selah.

Those eyes... they're MESMERIZING!

It was pretty much a family reunion for me, or as close as I've ever had to one. I grew up with all these folks that life had flung far and wide, so being back together in one place again was momentous and fun - and because the wedding was so chill and relaxed, we actually got to SEE each other, chat, and even have photographic evidence that we were all there at the same time. Even so, I wish we could have had MORE time, because I am needy and selfish like that. And I miss my cousins and aunts and uncles, and I want to know the cousins' kids.

Coming up: The ceremony itself, and the goofiness gaiety hilarity afterward!