Just to note: Rob worried that my quote list would ultimately mean I would be barred from Bunko. I reassured him that most of the girls gleefully laugh and holler "Addie, did you get that?!"
*****
H: How can guys do that?
L: Just bend it.
C: Like a hose? Kink it like a hose?
*****
A: If you performed like I did...
*****
S: We should do something crazy and unchurchlike.
*****
T: I lubed your mechanism.
*****
M: Can you press in more?
L: I can't unless I stand up.
M: But it feels so goooooood!
*****
H: It's SINFUL. But I like it.
*****
M: Not so rough!
*****
C: If you leave it, it just gets runny.
A: Oh, really?
C: (wickedly) It just goes limp.
*****
A: It's okay. You can touch it!
*****
M: I was at that table. It was disturbing. Addie will probably like it.
*****
A: So I'm keeping score?
E: Well, you're the one drinking, so I'm sure you'll do fine.
*****
A: Can I use your bathroom?
M: No. Outside.
*****
L: You may have pushed it in too far.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
it's not that kind of questionable content
Statcounter reports that three to five people reach my blog each week via the search words "cheerful porn." This has been consistent enough that Rob finally Googled it too, and it turns out that my blog is the first result when searching that particular phrase.
Weird. I know precisely why a search turns me up - I posted almost a year ago about the ring tone on my new phone, and how it sounded like a cheerful porn soundtrack, and that I cannot help but dance whenever I hear it - but it's odd that I am the FIRST result for a phrase I used once. Of course, I couldn't help but post about the results on Facebook, and my blog hits off the keywords "cheerful porn" more than doubled overnight. Thanks, FRIENDS.
I imagine this post will only complicate matters, though I'm not sure how I could be any higher in the search results than I already am. It's all strangely funny, especially the responses to my post in FB, but I do hope that those who get here from there are disappointed when they arrive and promptly leave.
Otherwise... um... EWWWW.
Weird. I know precisely why a search turns me up - I posted almost a year ago about the ring tone on my new phone, and how it sounded like a cheerful porn soundtrack, and that I cannot help but dance whenever I hear it - but it's odd that I am the FIRST result for a phrase I used once. Of course, I couldn't help but post about the results on Facebook, and my blog hits off the keywords "cheerful porn" more than doubled overnight. Thanks, FRIENDS.
I imagine this post will only complicate matters, though I'm not sure how I could be any higher in the search results than I already am. It's all strangely funny, especially the responses to my post in FB, but I do hope that those who get here from there are disappointed when they arrive and promptly leave.
Otherwise... um... EWWWW.
Friday, April 23, 2010
no spitting in the house
We're entering a new phase. On the sinful side, it's been characterized by rebellion (ignoring our instructions and arguing with almost EVERYTHING), selfishness (constant interruption and worse), and anger (pouting). Unfortunately, his preschool has reported some of the same, and the rebellion there included some experimental spitting during nap/rest time.
Oh dear.
We've pulled out a new book for the new phase that involves even more heart work than the last parenting book we leaned on heavily. Have yet to read it, but we are trying to be creative in how we discipline. These new habits took time to adopt and will take time to unlearn. Rather than a one-time discipline for each little infraction, we've taken a sweeping methodology that will require long term obedience to get the good consequences he desires.
The discipline? We took away all his Star Wars and superhero t-shirts. He was very, very sad about this, which I think is a good sign. He also thinks all his other t-shirts are boring, which I think shows a lack of imagination. At least we didn't limit him to white wife-beaters.
The good consequences? Get good reports about behavior at school and work on arguing and interrupting at home, and he can earn up to one shirt back per day. He got his first one back yesterday, and it's looking good for him to get another back today.
My initial suggestion of just giving him swirlies was rejected out of hand, and when I protested, Rob mentioned that Blake might have gotten the arguing part from me.
Dammit.
Oh dear.
We've pulled out a new book for the new phase that involves even more heart work than the last parenting book we leaned on heavily. Have yet to read it, but we are trying to be creative in how we discipline. These new habits took time to adopt and will take time to unlearn. Rather than a one-time discipline for each little infraction, we've taken a sweeping methodology that will require long term obedience to get the good consequences he desires.
The discipline? We took away all his Star Wars and superhero t-shirts. He was very, very sad about this, which I think is a good sign. He also thinks all his other t-shirts are boring, which I think shows a lack of imagination. At least we didn't limit him to white wife-beaters.
The good consequences? Get good reports about behavior at school and work on arguing and interrupting at home, and he can earn up to one shirt back per day. He got his first one back yesterday, and it's looking good for him to get another back today.
My initial suggestion of just giving him swirlies was rejected out of hand, and when I protested, Rob mentioned that Blake might have gotten the arguing part from me.
Dammit.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
kids these days
He came running out of his room and said, "Mom, I have something really cool to show you." It was very difficult not to smile or laugh, because he's in a "take me serious" phase, but he did agree to let me get it on camera. I should note that he blessedly does not know any music to go along with these moves.
that's what he said
B: I like your purse.
E: Thank you!
*****
B: I'm a fan of candy.
*****
B: I'm really hungry now!
A: You'll just have to wait. It's almost dinner.
B: Why don't you give me something to tight me over?
*****
B: MOM! Look at these cool Star Wars shirts!
A: Those ARE cool, but you already have about a hundred, so that's plenty.
B: Mom, I think I need a bigger closet. Then I can buy a TONS of shirts.
*****
A: (after a ten-minute cooling period) Blake, I am sorry that I lost my temper and yelled at you. No matter how disobedient you are, I need to have self-control in how I speak to you. Will you please forgive me?
B: (looking down seriously and raising his arms to wrap them tightly around my neck, then whispering right at my ear so that it was very loud and hurty) Mom, I will always forgive you.
*****
B: I made a big pile of awesome.
E: Thank you!
*****
B: I'm a fan of candy.
*****
B: I'm really hungry now!
A: You'll just have to wait. It's almost dinner.
B: Why don't you give me something to tight me over?
*****
B: MOM! Look at these cool Star Wars shirts!
A: Those ARE cool, but you already have about a hundred, so that's plenty.
B: Mom, I think I need a bigger closet. Then I can buy a TONS of shirts.
*****
A: (after a ten-minute cooling period) Blake, I am sorry that I lost my temper and yelled at you. No matter how disobedient you are, I need to have self-control in how I speak to you. Will you please forgive me?
B: (looking down seriously and raising his arms to wrap them tightly around my neck, then whispering right at my ear so that it was very loud and hurty) Mom, I will always forgive you.
*****
B: I made a big pile of awesome.
Monday, April 12, 2010
the truth will out
Immediately after watching a commercial for V-8, where a man feeds his veggies to his dog, Blake said, "I love to eat my vegetables. I'm going to be stron."
I agreed with him.
"Mom, can I please have some vegetables?"
"Um, yes. I think. All I have right now is spinach. Do you want a bowl of salad?"
"Yes, please."
"Wow. Okay. Do you want avocado on it or the huckleberry dressing?"
"No, thank you. Just the salad."
And then he ate a bowlful of spinach leaves plain. !!!
"Mom, I ate them all gone. Because I want to be big and stron so one day I can beat up on Dad." (emphasis mine)
I agreed with him.
"Mom, can I please have some vegetables?"
"Um, yes. I think. All I have right now is spinach. Do you want a bowl of salad?"
"Yes, please."
"Wow. Okay. Do you want avocado on it or the huckleberry dressing?"
"No, thank you. Just the salad."
And then he ate a bowlful of spinach leaves plain. !!!
"Mom, I ate them all gone. Because I want to be big and stron so one day I can beat up on Dad." (emphasis mine)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
happy anniversary to us!
Rob and I have been cheerfully hitched for a year now. Last year was rough, only because life was constantly pushing us around. Marriage itself was a great respite of fun and discovery, partly because we were still getting to know each other. And now we're at one year and thinking "WHAT?! I just met you!" because it's pretty much true. I can see that this year will be different. We pushed life back and sat on life's face and then Rob farted and life is giving the Bedford house a wide berth now. Marriage is still fun, but there are more frequent moments of "Why would you do it THAT way when THIS way is so clearly superior?"
....
So, I started this post this morning at 10:30ish. Rob asked if I wanted to finish it or if I wanted to help him paint Blake's bedroom. Clearly, I made the right choice, because all we have to do tomorrow is spot-check for coverage, put everything back together, and that's TWO rooms down (out of three - or four if you count our attached bathroom separately) for painting. It was a lovely day - Blake went to the rodeo with some friends, we painted like fools and spent good time together. Rob didn't realize how much his help with painting would bless me! Blake didn't realize that running off at the rodeo is a quick way to give Z and K a major panic attack! Funny that the child mortally afraid of being lost or left behind takes it into his head to bolt just before the rodeo ends, so that as our friends see him taking off, everyone else stands up and starts milling around. It was a misunderstanding (fully on his part) that he could go to the bathroom before the rodeo ended and ALONE. Silly boy.
Everyone made it home okay, K's heartrate evened out, and Blake meekly asked forgiveness for scaring the bejeebers out of her. We promptly left him with other friends and went out for dinner and a movie - rare treats. Trying to get him home was a trick, since he stubbornly refused to wake up after all the excitement of the day:
And from my mini-quiet time this morning (new rule: quiet time before Facebook time - I think it will work well for me), emphasis added:
Psalm 108: 1-6
My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,
and let your glory be over all the earth.
Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.
....
So, I started this post this morning at 10:30ish. Rob asked if I wanted to finish it or if I wanted to help him paint Blake's bedroom. Clearly, I made the right choice, because all we have to do tomorrow is spot-check for coverage, put everything back together, and that's TWO rooms down (out of three - or four if you count our attached bathroom separately) for painting. It was a lovely day - Blake went to the rodeo with some friends, we painted like fools and spent good time together. Rob didn't realize how much his help with painting would bless me! Blake didn't realize that running off at the rodeo is a quick way to give Z and K a major panic attack! Funny that the child mortally afraid of being lost or left behind takes it into his head to bolt just before the rodeo ends, so that as our friends see him taking off, everyone else stands up and starts milling around. It was a misunderstanding (fully on his part) that he could go to the bathroom before the rodeo ended and ALONE. Silly boy.
Everyone made it home okay, K's heartrate evened out, and Blake meekly asked forgiveness for scaring the bejeebers out of her. We promptly left him with other friends and went out for dinner and a movie - rare treats. Trying to get him home was a trick, since he stubbornly refused to wake up after all the excitement of the day:
- Rodeo clowns, bucking bulls, calf ropers, and being lost among a sea of butts at eye-level!
- Star Wars LEGOs wherein he was told he makes the best sound effects!
- Humming accompaniment to Chase's rendition of "I'll Fly Away" during spaceship playing!
- Silly bedtime stories by Chase!
And from my mini-quiet time this morning (new rule: quiet time before Facebook time - I think it will work well for me), emphasis added:
Psalm 108: 1-6
My heart is steadfast, O God;
I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.
I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, higher than the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens,
and let your glory be over all the earth.
Save us and help us with your right hand,
that those you love may be delivered.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
a primer on loving those in fresh grief
A man I knew indirectly (though he was a friend of many close friends) died last night. He was my age, with two very young children and a young wife left behind. My heart aches for their family. As I read through some of the loving words posted in various places about him, I grew annoyed by our society's queasiness about death. We have so many euphemisms that do not actually speak truth: he went home, he is with Jesus, he passed away, etc. The widow will be spoken of as having "lost her husband," as though she misplaced him on her last grocery run. As if he were a set of keys.
The man died. The only thing that eases the feeling of loss and theft is knowing that he truly is in a better place. He suffered a great deal in his last months here on earth, and while his family is freed of watching him suffer, helpless, they now face the unenviable task of figuring out what life looks like when there is a raw gaping hole in it. In them.
Yes, he is dancing with Jesus. Yes, they will be reunited one day.
But now? Today? This first day that the sun cruelly rose without him here on the earth? His family misses him. There is a very real permanence to death, at least for those who still live. They never get to speak to him, never get to hear his voice, and not acknowledging the profundity of that pain does them a disservice as grieving Christians who believe in life and hope hereafter.
So to those friends who know E and love her and get to speak to her, be kind. Let her miss him. Do not say that he is in a better place. She knows, and that knowledge still doesn't remove the ache of the fact that the place is, for now, unreachable by her. Do not quote Romans 8:28 (and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose). Tell her stories of her beloved. Share pictures she may not have of him. Cry with her as she yearns to see him again, even in a dream. Empathize with the sheer loneliness of a future without him. Do not feel the need to say anything. There will be times she'll need to be surrounded by the busy-ness of life in order to be comforted by the normalcy. There will be times she'll feel like it will never be normal again. There may be many tears over the new "normal." And God will be there with her, every step of the way, mourning with her even if she does as I did, shaking her fist at Him and asking why He didn't change things.
E'en for the dead, I will not bind my soul to grief. Death cannot long divide.
For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall has blossomed on the other side?
Death does hide, but not divide.
You are but on Christ's other side!
You are with Christ, and Christ with me.
In Christ united still are we.
The man died. The only thing that eases the feeling of loss and theft is knowing that he truly is in a better place. He suffered a great deal in his last months here on earth, and while his family is freed of watching him suffer, helpless, they now face the unenviable task of figuring out what life looks like when there is a raw gaping hole in it. In them.
Yes, he is dancing with Jesus. Yes, they will be reunited one day.
But now? Today? This first day that the sun cruelly rose without him here on the earth? His family misses him. There is a very real permanence to death, at least for those who still live. They never get to speak to him, never get to hear his voice, and not acknowledging the profundity of that pain does them a disservice as grieving Christians who believe in life and hope hereafter.
So to those friends who know E and love her and get to speak to her, be kind. Let her miss him. Do not say that he is in a better place. She knows, and that knowledge still doesn't remove the ache of the fact that the place is, for now, unreachable by her. Do not quote Romans 8:28 (and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose). Tell her stories of her beloved. Share pictures she may not have of him. Cry with her as she yearns to see him again, even in a dream. Empathize with the sheer loneliness of a future without him. Do not feel the need to say anything. There will be times she'll need to be surrounded by the busy-ness of life in order to be comforted by the normalcy. There will be times she'll feel like it will never be normal again. There may be many tears over the new "normal." And God will be there with her, every step of the way, mourning with her even if she does as I did, shaking her fist at Him and asking why He didn't change things.
E'en for the dead, I will not bind my soul to grief. Death cannot long divide.
For is it not as though the rose that climbed my garden wall has blossomed on the other side?
Death does hide, but not divide.
You are but on Christ's other side!
You are with Christ, and Christ with me.
In Christ united still are we.
Friday, April 9, 2010
my touchdown dance
I'm rockin' two out of two Scrabble games with Rob. I'm not sure if it's the layout (it's not really Scrabble - it's something for iPhone/iTouch that's just different enough to avoid a lawsuit), or if he thinks I'm adorable at winning, but I have really quite handily spanked him in the scores.
I'm also not a great loser - where DOES Blake get it? - but would agree that my winning dance is rather awkward and adorable.
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